so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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