So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
