Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize