How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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