The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
