Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
