mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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