The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
