Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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