you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
