Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
