Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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