You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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