after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
