I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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