Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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