and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
