Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
