I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Holy sore nipples Batman
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
BRING THE BAGELS
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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