You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
