how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
