12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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