Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
