I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
