I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
How external is "for external use only"?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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