One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
