I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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