If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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