That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
