You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Sorry my hands just texted you
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize