At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
