Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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