Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
