Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
