I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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