Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
