Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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