Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Two words: blizzard sex
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
