I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
