Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
