it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
why didn't you poke me back
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize