I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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