I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize