I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i think i have two assholes
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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