Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
it's like heaven, but drunker
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize