guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
