thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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