Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
