Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
