Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
