I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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