I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
