I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
