tell your sister to shave her snatch
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
