I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I need a beard to bite.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
