dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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