There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
