Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
