we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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