she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
