I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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