You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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