Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
