they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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