you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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