turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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